literature

Perfectly invisible

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Literature Text

Title:Perfectly invisible
Pairing:Kiseob
Rating:pg
Warnings: Ghost fic
Author:x_heartbeatss_x
Summary:Yoseob loses his lover in a horrible accident, he feels abandoned and lonely.But why does he get the feeling he's not completely alone?


Perfectly invisible

Lee Kikwang
Beloved son, brother, friend and lover
1990 - 2010
Forever in our memories


These words could be read from the recently placed gravestone.
It was shiny and made out of expensive marble.

All the deceased one's friends and family were gathered around the grave, which was surrounded by flowers, to say their last goodbyes.
Yoseob was standing in the front row, next to the other members of their band. The atmosphere amongst them was gloomy.

Yoseob was staring at the gravestone and the flowers that were planted into the fresh earth.

He heard people condole him for his loss every minute, but he didn't respond.

'I don't need reminding at all.'

It was a day in the middle of autumn, all the trees had already lost their leaves , it would be winter soon and Yoseob would have nothing to warm the freezing cold in his heart.

'My heart died along with Kikwang.'

The weather was awful, the world mourned for the loss of Kikwang. The sky was dark grey and couldn't stop crying, just like Yoseob..
He didn't knew he had so much tears left to cry.

After the ceremony was over, almost everyone departed already from the grave and left to shelter inside a café.

'My shelter is gone.'

He and the band remained at the graveyard for a while. It was raining furiously but Yoseob's umbrella lay somewhere forgotten on the ground.
Doojoon tried to convince him to come with them, while the others tried to comfort him.

Yoseob just couldn't leave.
They tried to drag him with them, but Yoseob collapsed onto the ground clinging onto the stone as it was Kikwang himself he was holding.

He kept crying and begged them to leave him alone with a voice that broke from grief.
So Yoseob was left alone at the graveyard.

He clung onto the stone, not caring about getting soaked to the bone and not caring about the dirt on his clothes.

'I pray softly that he won't fade away'

The weather was terrible, but it wasn't perfect the day Kikwang died either.
He remembered that dreadful day as it was yesterday.
Yoseob woke up screaming and crying every night because he relived it over and over again in his nightmares.

It was horrible.
It was a day like no other, the leaves were slowly disappearing from the trees, the sun shared it's last rays of warmth before fading
behind clouds full of rain.

They say that when you see the death of a loved one everything happens in slow motion.
Yoseob agreed.

They were crossing the street and by the time he turned around he saw a car approaching Kikwang fast, too fast.

He tried to yell something but it was in vain.
He saw how the car scooped Kikwang up like a broken doll, he fell against the front window.
Yoseob heard shattering of glass and he saw blood, it was just everywhere.

He heard someone screaming hysterically the whole time, only later he realized it was himself.
The car stopped abruptly and Kikwang rolled of the motor cap with a loud thud

Death wasn't beautiful at all.

Yoseob felt like he was dying himself, his heart stopped beating, he couldn't breathe and his body went completely numb.
He rushed to Kikwang's side.

'The falling rain, was getting heavier the more I headed towards you'

He was still beautiful.
There was so much blood, everywhere, on him, on Yoseob, it soaked his shirt, stained the street.
Yoseob heard the siren's sound from way too far and Kikwang was dying in his arms.

Yoseob kept crying, begging his lover to hold on for him, telling him he loved him, telling him not to leave.
Kikwang died on the spot, in Yoseob's arms.

'You, who took your last breath right before my eyes
I spoke to you, without reaction, the silence pains me'

Yoseob kept holding Kikwang close against him, he rocked him back and forth while humming a song.
He felt Kikwang's body slowly lose all of its warmth and felt like he was freezing himself.

He couldn't stand it that all those people were gathering around them, he screamed at them to leave.
He wanted to be alone, just like he felt.

Finally the ambulance arrived, the last thing Yoseob could remember was that they had to drag him away from Kikwang's lifeless body.
After that his mind went blank, his world stopped turning. He was lost.

Yoseob finally got up and left for the house, where they used to live together.
As soon as he entered the house he was haunted by memories about Kikwang.
When Yoseob saw their pictures hanging on the wall, he lost it completely.

He trashed the coffee table, threw pictures on the ground, broke the glass with his bare hand and held a photograph of them together against his heart.
Finally, he collapsed onto the floor, his chest heaving heavily up and down while he was shivering and trembling violently.

'How am I supposed to live without Kikwang?'

He hadn't just lost Kikwang, but also himself in some way.
He was just a shadow of his former self,
He lost his lover, his soul mate, his best friend, his hopes, his dreams, his light, his everything.
All that was left was a cold lonely house and the gaping hole of pain inside of him.

'Your smile, your tears, your sleeping face, your voice, your body, your me, I can never hold you again.'

He cried himself to sleep every night.

Every day he just walked around purposeless through the house where they used to be happy together.
Every day he survived through his memories and his beautiful hallucinations of Kikwang.

'I want to be with you forever
So if I could, I'd place the hourglass upside-down.'

As time passed on, he began to isolate himself. He didn't see his friends often and stopped returning their calls.

But some day, Yoseob noticed he wasn't completely alone anymore.
It seemed like a presence was returned in the house.

He could tell from the breath he often felt against his ear, it made him shiver the way Kikwang used to.
After he showered, his mirror was always misty. And lately, he discovered occasional hearts that were drawn onto his mirror.
He heard singing in the middle of the night, footsteps coming up the stairs but never actually reaching the door, and he heard doors slamming.

He often felt like there was someone right beside him, then it seemed like the wind was playing with his hair, but he knew it wasn't.

Kikwang found his way back, he came back to stay with Yoseob even if he didn't knew, yet.

That night he heard a whispering voice, the voice of Kikwang:

I tried, my heart doesn't beat
there's no ground under my feet
I'm floating over your bed now
I'll be the voice in the dark
the freezing cold in your heart
that you thought died along with me
Smile, don't cry anymore
From now on, I'll always be watching you
you'll never be alone again
I am right here with you.


Then realization hit him, he would never be alone again, and that's all he ever wanted.
Another one-shot from kiseob <3
Hopefully you'll like it!
Comments are appreciated ^^
© 2011 - 2024 Savingseats
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